I have never, in my life, overdosed on anything. I was not forced to be admitted into the Priory. I do not have an eating disorder, and I do not snort cocane. And quiet honestly, if any of these were true, it would not have been TMZ's business.
I have severe depression and an anxiety disorder. I have been ignorantly avoiding these mental health issues mostly out of embarrassment and fear. These poor decisions caught up to me and through some people I love, I was able to do what I had to do to figure out where I should be in my life. I still feel like this isn't anyone's buiness, and I will likely never feel otherwise. I'm not clarifying because I particularly care what news sites say about me. I clarify because speaking out on this is important. Letting people know this isn't something to be ashamed of is important.
For the record, my mental health is not a joke. Please don't ever think it is your right to guess about my possible eating disorders, drug addictions, or whatever else. TMZ and other gossip sites who have chosen to trust "close sources" and hypothesize on what exactly it was that could have almost killed me are, indeed, vultures. Please take stock of what you've done not only to me as a person but to those who are afraid to receive help for their mental health. You have effectively shamed them into feeling like they will be judged if they do receive help. Kudos.
If you're feeling depressed or like every day you find yourself struggling to get out of bed, PLEASE believe me when I say that not everyone feels this way. I thought that for years. I thought my bleak outlook on life, my struggle to find happiness or complete daily tasks, my panic attacks and constant worry, were all how everyone else was. No one talked to me about depression or mental health. No one spoke out for me. So I am telling you right now
if you think something is wrong, if your sadness does not go away, if you feel lost or alone, PLEASE CONTACT A DOCTOR. I'm not joking. I understand how scary it is. I understand how fucking horrifying that beast of a decision can be. But it will change your world. Things are so much easier once you accept that your mental illness is not something to be ashamed of. We all need help sometimes. Go get yours. If you can't afford it, contact my assistant. I'll pay your medical bills.
To my fans: I love you, so sorry for all the panic that this might have caused you. I am alive, in part, because of you. A little bit of my soul is owed to each and every single one of you. I will never be able to explain what you've done for me, no bullshit. I know these kinds of things feel hokey when they come from an Internet blog post, when I haven't even seen all your faces or know all your names, but if you could see inside my heart you would know I owe a new heartbeat to each of you every day. xx
